My 2008 Presidential Endorsement: Catch the Blue State Fever!

For the Democrats, I'm keeping this one fairly short, and without quite the vitriol present on the GOP side. For one, I'm saving myself for the big brawl tonight on MSNBC. For another, I actually can find some candidates to respect on the Democratic side. Barring the return of zombie Lincoln and the withdrawal of all Democratic candidates (save for Gravel), my 2008 general election endorsement will likely be a Dem.

In order from last to first.

#8: Mike Gravel
Sure, its fun when the crazies are let in the building. And his righteous indignation is a site to behold. However, crazy != good candidate, so I cannot give him too much support. Keep in mind, however, that I would still vote for him over every GOP candidate, save for possibly Ron Paul.

#6 (tie): Joe Biden and Chris Dodd
They seem like decent enough fellows, and have actually done pretty well in the debates. However, they aren't really that different than the front-runners, and don't have much of a shot. If I weren't such a political geek, I probably wouldn't be able to tell them apart. They'll be much better as leaders in Congress.

#5: Hillary Clinton
Yeah, she is the front-runner. And yeah, she'll probably end up with the nomination. However, although I have shed some of my ignorance from the 90s, I still have hard feelings towards the Clintons. Fair or not, she strikes me as incredibly cold and calculating, and willing to drop her convictions at any moment for the convenient position. Also, I can't support a candidate who voted for the Iraq War Resolution. A true leader would have stood up to Bush at that moment, and done their best to keep us out of this war, rather than roll over like a coward.

#4: Dennis Kucinich
Unlike half of the field, he voted against the Iraq War Resolution. He stands his ground, and certainly seems to have plenty of conviction and a sense of responsibility. Also, he has a hot (for a hippie) young wife. But he is the most liberal candidate in the field, and has no shot at winning the nomination. Maybe he would win if he was running for President of The Shire.

#3: John Edwards
Despite the $400 haircuts and giant houses, he does seem to care about eradicating poverty. Unfortunately, this isn't 1968, and he isn't Robert Kennedy. Of course, considering how 1968 ended for Mr. Kennedy, maybe Mr. Edwards would be glad about that. Like Clinton, Dodd, and Biden, he is disqualified because of a vote for the Iraq Resolution. At least he has shown some regret about the decision, unlike a certain front-runner from New York.

#2: Bill Richardson
An experienced diplomat, with a real moderate streak (yet good on several liberal issues), and a proven track record? How did he get in this horse-race? Although a little stiff in the debates, he clearly knows his stuff, and is an excellent candidate. He really should be a bigger contender, but the glare of the top three kind of keeps him in the shadows. If it were any other year, the endorsement would be his.

#1: Barack Obama
Sometimes the race for the Presidency is a choice between the lesser of two evils. Once in a while, however, a candidate comes along who may legitimately change the course of the country. Obama seems like he might be this candidate. He is unabashedly liberal, but in a way that will at least foster some respect and statesmanship on the other side of the aisle. His speeches seem to be from a different time, when eloquence and ideas mattered.

Obama represents optimism, a trait sorely lacking in most of the Democratic party. He represents fresh ideas, and a possible return of honor and respect to our government. Yes, he might be inexperienced, but that is why you bring in an experienced Secretary of State and Vice-President (preferably one who isn't a Sith lord, like our current Veep).

Hmm....Obama/Richardson '08. I think I like the sound of that.

In the end, the Democratic field is much easier to digest than the pills in the GOP race. Before the field started to appear, and the Republicans showed themselves for what they are, I was a strong supporter of ABH (anybody but Hillary) . However, with the turds on the right (or in the case of Romney, canine diarrhea), I might reluctantly support her candidacy if she were the nominee. Obama on the back side of the ticket would most certainly help.

Because Six Months isn't early enough: My '08 Presidential Endorsements

Yeah, I know it is still six months until any meaningful events happen in the 2008 Presidential races, but I felt it necessary to give my endorsements now. Part of this is because I am antsy, and want to post something. Also, I am a political dork who unfortunately can't get enough of the process and the horse race. I know, I need to seek help.

Today, I'll be taking a look at the Grumpy Old Prudes, while tomorrow will be a look at the Jackasses.

While thinking of who to endorse for the GOP nomination, I thought long and hard on the issue. Seeing as most of my politics fall in line with the Democrats (yeah, I know, I know, I'm a cheese eating surrender monkey), none of the candidates seem to jump out to me.

Save for one. Yeah, he's not officially in the race, he was a television star, and the Republicans seem to love him. Here is a clip of him speaking, right after a liberal protest against eminent domain. He sure does have a way with outlining the true nature of the GOP, doesn't he?

Yeah, it looks like he might have a legal problem, but I'm sure President Bush can commute his sentence.

Seriously, I can't really find a candidate on the Republican side to give my endorsement. Yeah, I could give it to Tancredo, T. Thompson, or Hunter on the grounds of they give the Dems the best chance to win. However, I legitimately want to pick the best candidate available, regardless of my personal views.

I thought long and hard about going with the candidate leading this poll. However, a search of the FEC records found no mention of this Mr. (or Ms.) Oftheabove, and an exhaustive search of cool new people on MySpace came up with Chris Dodd, Rudy Giuliani, and sexxxychik69, but no Oftheabove. Therefore, I have to believe that that Oftheabove is one of those illegal aliens, and is trying to take over our government. So I have to respectfully decline giving him or her my endorsement.

I honestly can't believe Brent Musberger is running for President. I know he is a celebrated sports broadcaster, but that can't possibly qualify him to be leader of the free world. Sure, his brief cameo in Rocky II helped heal the nation from the wounds of Watergate, but that was thirty years ago. The nation is a much different place...Oh wait, that isn't Brent Musberger? Mitt Romney you say. He is a former governor of Massachusetts? OK, that makes a little more sense. But why is a Democrat running in the GOP primaries?

....

Really, they have Republicans in Massachusetts? Fancy that. I'm sure he is way too liberal for the conservative base, though, so I'll pass on him.

The next candidate to consider is Rudy (9-11) Giulia(9-11)ni. Outside of a (9-11) stint as (9-11) May(9-11)or of New (9-11) York, he doesn't have any politi(9-11)cal experience. Altho(9-11)ugh I dig so(9-11)me of his vie(9-11)ws on so(9-11)cial issues, he see(9-11)ms way to eager to prof(9-11)it off of a horrible trag(9-11)e(9-11)d(9-11)y. Damn if I can(9-11)'t remem(9-11)ber it though. America's Mayor, I'm afraid you don't get my endorsement.

I wont bother with Duncan Hunter, Tom Tancredo, or Tommy Thompson. They have a snowball's chance in hell, and I already mentioned they would be a gift to the Democrats.

I do not endorse Fred Thompson, partially because he isn't officially in the race, and partially because a successful stint on "Law & Order" does not make a President. Also, he seemed to be a little too friendly with the Nixon people, and too many Bush followers seem to be flocking to him.

Thus, we are left with Representative Paul and Senator McCain. Seven years ago I would have been McCain all the way. His straight talk was uniquely refreshing to a young man preparing to vote in his first Presidential election. I was sad that Bush beat him, and looked forward to his possible running again in either 2004 or 2008.

Unfortunately, he decided it was best to cozy up to fatheads like Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson. He started playing buddy-buddy with the man who intimated he had an illegitimate child in South Carolina, and lost a lot of "maverick" credibility. He probably deserves some credit for standing pat on his beliefs in regards to Iraq and immigration. However, I won't give him that credit, mainly because I believe he feels those who disagree with Mr. Bush's war are somehow inferior, somehow less of a patriot than those who follow Mr. Bush's "surge" without question.

(Yeesh, it suddenly turned cold in here)

Uh...Also he looks like a Chipmunk with walnuts in his mouth, and he is like 97.5 years old (Seriously, he is older than Reagan was in 1980). OK, we're back from the precipice of real discussion. Walnuts!

Then there is Ron Paul. Yes, I give him points for being the one Republican with the cajones to question the war in Iraq. Yes, I think some of his views are on the mark. And yes, honestly, he impressed me the most of the candidates. However, his internet supporters are so damn annoying, I can't in good conscience reward their efforts.

That leaves just one candidate, and one candidate alone. Sure, he's a dark horse, and he is almost as old as John McCain. But he is socially moderate, enough so that he was elected by a large state. He also has deep convictions, and most assuredly won't cynically use the passion of the fundamentalist right of the party for his gains (because he is an admitted atheist).

Arnie Vinick '08!

The GOP Debate, part 2

DJ Brownback be hatin on hip hop

Why, because Walter Mondale was a jackass, that's why!

I think you meant power over principle, Herr Walnutz

You know who had the line item veto? Jeff Davis. How did that work out, Mr. McCain?

Oh, Mr. Huckabee, please answer the damn question.

Mr. Guiliani, there ya go. Was that really that hard?

What a stupid question..Next?

Its really sad when John McCain is the left side of the immigration issue in the GOP.

Damn, even the righties believe in global warming now. Where is Mallard Fillmore on that one?

Once again, the President has jack shit to do with mothers and prisons. Governors maybe, but the President has bigger shit to deal with...Remember foreign policy? Yeah, that is supposed to be the largest part of the President's job.

John McCain scores a big one with me for the stem cell answer. His current score: -6345.8

The Market is part of the solution...but I still believe it ain't the only solution.

Consumption tax?

Mr. McCain, repeat after me...You can't line item veto without a constitutional amendment.

Yeah right, the 16th Amendment ain't getting repealed.

Woah, is Larry Flynt at the debate?

Another good answer, Mr. McCain...Too bad you made kissy-face with Bob Jones and Jerry Falwell just a little too much.

All you fucknuts who don't believe in evolution, please get out of this fucking race.

Mitt Romney supports the family.

Guiliani answered the Shiite/Sunni question, if a little uncertainly. Still, better than not answering it.

Oh Reagan, Ron Paul said he trusted the internet. However, I do like his answer on the Intertubes.

If you aren't influenced by your religious beliefs, then you don't have real religious beliefs. Why is it so hard to believe that faith isn't a good thing, and also sometimes the good of the country is different from your personal views?

Little known fact: Rudy Guiliani was mayor of New York.

Senator, if you win in 2008, its because the Democrats choked a big one...Or Mike Gravel somehow won the nomination. Wait, that's redundant.

Poor Mr. Guiliani, always having to go back to New York, because it is his only qualification.

The thirty second down the line questions are a terrible idea. The jackasses from both parties bloviate too long.

I didn't support the war, Mr. Paul.

Maybe so, Mr. Brownback, but Congress shouldn't be involved in a fucking vegetable case.

Yeah, because Bush, Frist, and Hastert did such a great job.

Bill Clinton wouldn't be President, jackass.

Fuck You Guiliani. Fuck you in your ear.

Once again, Mrs. Clinton would be in the Oval Office, not Bill.

This is going to be a long campaign....

Angry Old Men: The GOP Debate

We're live from the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library. The liberal wimps had their chance last week, now its time for the real men.

8:01-Good Reagan, do you really have to lionize "The Great Communicator" like that? As if his legacy isn't already puffed up as it is.

Order from left to right: Tool, Tool, Tool, Tool, Crazy, Turd, Crazy Old, Crazy Turd, 9/11 Turd, Crazy Asshole.

Chris Mathews is our moderator. Same stupid rules as the Dems. blah blah blah

Rudy Giuliani wants you to remember he killed all the homeless people of New York and put a Red Lobster in Times Square. He also wants to remind you of the terrorists.

John McCain is old...Arnie Vinick he ain't...but he is angry

They already followed us home asshole..Remember 9/11? By the way, McCain is the early front runner for the Bill Richardson Tight-ass award.

Damn, ease up Tommy Thompson...This isn't the Galatic Senate, and you aren't Palpatine.

Duncan Hunter: blah blah Vietnamiz...I mean Iraqinization of the war

Whoa, I didn't know Brent Musberger was running for President. Oh wait, that is Mitt Romney. nevermind

Sen. Brownback, you old dog, you brought out the Islamofascist buzzword.

You know, if I had to support a Republican, Huckabee would be my choice. He doesn't scare me as much as the other candidates, and he can lose weight crazy fast.

Jim Gilmore, the favorite son of my adopted state...Too bad I don't know who he is. Awesome, he wants us to get into more wars in the Middle East.

Good old Ron Paul, coming out against the war, albeit from the other side of the spectrum.

John McCain '08-Cause you know you want to beat those Persian bastards! He looks like he might be having a heart attack.

Yeah, because the Iranis want to get there ass blown back to the stone age. No legitimate government would consider giving Nukes to terrorists, not if they want to stay an existing free country.

Israel is a potential threat to the existence of the United States?

Alright, a cold war reference! Lets get back to the good old days!

Oh boy, the interactive questions...Those really work well.

God damnit, bin Laden is not the question, fucknut.

Huckabee is my favorite so far. You're dead to me McCain.

Hooray, Ron Paul wants to bring back slavery!

Mitt Romney, optimism doesn't mean blindness to problems.

A really good answer Huckabee...Republican friendly, moderate safe.

Presidents don't really have anything to do with organ donations...Want to help the organ donor program? Don't wear your seatbelt.

Lets piss on the interactive questions, and discuss Iran...

Reagan Damnit, Guiliani, answer the damn question, don't pander.

No, the Democrats are a big coalition party...The Republicans are Montgomery Burns, Ned Flanders, and Rainier Wolfcastle.

Yes, I'm sure Obama, Clinton, et al want to lead a shitty nation pessimistic about its future. Ask Carter about that one.

You know who came up with the City on the Hill crap? The puritans...Yep, the people that burnt "witches". Sounds like the GOP to me.

+1 Mitt Romney, with his answer to the catholic priest question.

Honest answer, and a good answer, Mr. Huckabee.

But atheists are evil souless demons, incapable of morality, eh Mr. Romney?

Yes, lets build a border wall.

Republicans seem to think they have a monopoly on virtue...but you are correct on your point, Mr. Guiliani.

Tommy Thompson, the veto master!

Inauguration Day

Welcome to the launch of August Prairie. This blog will focus on everybody's favorite subject: politics. It will combine thoughts on current issues both at home and abroad, as well as give me a chance to develop and introduce some of my thoughts and theories on government and social responsibility.

Although I will be keeping up with current events, and posting my thoughts when big things happen, one thing I will pretty much ignore (at least until two months before Iowa) is the 2008 Presidential Election. At this point, it is nothing but meaningless jockeying, and deserves very little space on this page. If a candidate drops out, or a new candidate enters, I will discuss it briefly. Otherwise, it will remain in the background.